Many of us have heard this repeated to us during times of strife, and many of us have even agreed. But is this really true? Or is this an excuse for the abuse that our society allows to be inflicted upon our youth? Maybe if we perceive abuse as a character-building experience, we don't feel any guilt about not working towards protecting children and eliminating it from our schools.

Perhaps we should be examining the quality of personal strength and not the quantity. How horrible is it that we live in a country where to have a hard shell that keeps other people at a distance is an asset? A child can be self-confident and a strong-willed person, but still have an open-minded nature and be filled with love to share with those around them. The child who has been abused (and, of course, survived it) may exhibit strong self-confidence and a strong sense of personal empowerment, but not without the baggage that goes along with being subjected to cruelty at the hands of their community: The hard shell or wall they put up around them. The defense system that is always paranoid and ready to be deployed (after all, every laugh heard in a public place IS directed at them, right?). The inability to completely trust others without questioning what they are really thinking. The cynicism that poisons their mind. The complete loss of innocence and of ever being able to believe in the goodness of humanity again.

Is it worth it?
Is it really?

Ignorance may or may not be bliss, but I don't think anyone forced to see the dark side of people would choose to see it again no matter what kind of a person they have grown into. But Life is not a "Choose Your Own Adventure" book. You can't go back and answer the questions differently if you don't like the ending. You are stuck with what was dealt to you.

If you are one of the few who survives abuse, this doesn't make you any stronger than the person who could not. We need to stop blaming the children for "asking for it" and intercept abuse where it is being given out. This isn't about a shy child who's too afraid to tell the teacher that she gave him the wrong test paper back; this is about a strong child who has been BEATEN DOWN to submission. To shyness. To helplessness. People ARE strong. Every baby that is born has the potential to be a strong person. They do not need abuse to achieve it.